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Friday, June 8, 2012

Here's your random post! Including a lot about digital D.s

So I'm sitting here bored at work, and I feel like writing. About what, I'm not sure yet. Probably bitching about D/s and how it's tough being a switch.

Sorry again for how spastic my writing is, single reader. I'm usually too busy dealing with you <3 But for the other random readers that stumble upon this blog, I shall endeavor to regale you with my sexy story time. (Yes, I talk like this in real life. I'm a derp.)

I guess I'll go with the topic I cited up there. D/s. And how I'm nitpicky and a brat and a dumb perfectionist.

Surprisingly, I put a huge amount of work into my D/s relationship with Artemis. I handmade her collar out of chainmail, picked a weave that allowed for four different sorts of rings so that both of our colours were represented, and went through dozens of collaring ceremony examples and vows (including wedding vows, weird!!) to come up with our ceremony and my own vows, printing examples for her to write her own, and booking us into a BDSM Chateau in upstate NY for a night. Yeah... I think that's a lot. Especially for just her training collar. Not even her slave collar. Gods, I don't know what I'll do to up the stakes on that. But that's for at least a year from now, probably more. And now that I've worried myself about it, I'll probably be starting preparations after she goes home this weekend. Oi vey. I make so many messes for myself.

But back to my hard work. I have also set up accounts for myself, Artemis, and Oz on Astrid, which is an awesome to-do list app that I use between us all for D/s stuff. I set up Gmail accounts for us to have specifically for kinky things. Which also includes google calendar so that we can all share our calendars and know who will be coming along to what conventions and so on and so forth. I assigned Arti all of her tasks, I assigned Oz a few research ideas, and Oz will eventually be assigning me my tasks. Eventually. Some day. Maybe.

Arti has her rules set to remind her of each one once weekly, some daily (like to read her affirmations), and her schedules (like maid services and drawing). When I think she's mastered a rule, I remove it from reminders. [As cute as the little Astrid octopus is, she's a little jerk sometimes!!]
I periodically update Arti's rules and schedules. I edit them in Astrid and send her copies in Evernote, which is a very easy to use and helpful note app. Arti and I have shared Emergency Information on there, as well as wishlists for gifts and other such fun things that are useful to reference.

Again. That seems like a lot of invested work for a Dom. I'm aware that the addition of being in a loving, caring, romantic relationship adds fuel to me wishing to provide the best experience for her, and I don't hold an isolated D/s relationship to this standard. And I'm not complaining about the work I do. I'm showing this as an example of the work Oz isn't (to my knowledge) doing.

I understand that I have everything set up already, and there isn't much left to cover without repeating, so I've done a lot of the nitty gritty setup. That's cool. But damn it if I don't feel like he's totally leaving me out of all of this. I didn't just pull Arti's rules off a Fetlife forum. I talked to her. Found out what she'd like to improve about herself. What's she's uncomfortable with. What her work schedule is like. Adjusted her cleaning schedule when she moved into a new apartment. Cuz, I dunno, maybe it's just me, but if I'm doing D/s as a relationship, I want it to progress. Grow. Be organic and unhindered and not just some cookie cutter spanking and memorizing positions while your Dom watches TV. I want to help Artemis become what  she wants to be, as much as what -I- want her to be, like a crazy fisting slut. We both get something out of this. It's a shared experience.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to mess with anyone's power dynamic. But I want to know that -I- was the one to facilitate her growing into herself, becoming happy because of the influence -I- had on her life, and that she ends up ultimately being better for having given herself to -me- completely.

But maybe I'm just a crazy dyke with too many feels.

So we'll see what happens with Oz. We'll see if he's actually just an awesome interrogator spy who has be sucking brain waves out of my head while I sleep in his basement. I'll update you guys.
Until then, wish me luck that I won't have to shake him out of being a stereotypical Twuest Dick Dominate.

Also, updated the Players page a little.

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