I'm pretty sick of everything right now. Can it just be summer please? I don't want to deal with everything anymore. I don't want to be taking care of 4 different people. I don't want to be playing baby sitter or therapist or taxi anymore. I'm a person. Why can't I be treated like one? Or at least get freaking paid for my services. Seriously...
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
So I'm still bad at blogging...
But I promise to get better. I've generally been off the internet as a whole besides tumblr for a while now. I'm trying to get back into Twitter, and also with Fetlife. Maybe Facebook, but that's not all that fun or interesting or interactive. Wah.
So anyway. I want to write today about my horrible hygiene and my room being a total mess.
Alright. I don't shower that often. I don't feel comfortable disclosing just how often that is, plus I don't really know. I don't keep track. I shower when I feel dirty, or am visibly dirty. Like if I went playing in the mud, or after larping. I take baths for pleasure and not hygiene. I don't have a bath at home. If I did, I would be what others deem "more clean". It has really never been something that bothers me. I use wet wipes on my nether bits, and I clean my face nearly every night. I should probably wash my feet more, but that's Arti's job. :P
I also don't brush my teeth. Like, ever. Barely monthly. Which I know is awful and IS something I need to fix and I'm working on it. Again, I have no self-motivation. I would very much like rules and stuff from one of my lover boys, but that's just not happening for whatever reason. And I feel like a jerk telling Arti that she needs to clean her teeth, although I haven't made it a rule yet because I feel so hypocritical about it. So. Yeah. If anyone wants to give me rules and inspections, hit me up.
Other than my body issues, I live in clutter. I VERY RARELY have food in my room. And when I do, I take the plates/bowls down immediately, or the morning after if it's a late night snack. I somehow forget about popcorn bags for centuries though, as I feed the kernels to my ratties. So that's about the only thing I have in my room food wise, except for scant amounts of chocolate that I have hidden around the room. That's my main problem- I forget things. I honestly believe I have a memory problem, but I don't know if that's something that can be fixed, so I don't bother talking to doctors about it. Maybe I should... but back on the topic at hand. I pile things. I hoard. I really like pillows. I really like craft supplies. These are the things that take up most of my room. There is literally a one foot wide path to my bed and that's it. I can't even open my door all the way.
And my boyfriend, Oz, isn't really okay with that. Which is totally cool with my parents.
So he's at my place while I work today, cleaning out my stuff. Which really is mostly pillows, clothes, bins of stuff (which I just don't get around to putting in the attic) and bedding. Lots of pillows and bedding. I have a Queen size bed, and I really think I get separation anxiety when I'm away from people, so I bundle up pillow and blankets on the other side of the bed that I cuddle into. Aww. Gay. Whatever. Badass dykes can have feelings too.
So that's what's happening today and tomorrow. Oz is cleaning my room while I'm at work. And Arti might be able to come by tomorrow and Saturday and complete the daunting task. I really am not worried as I trust Oz with my things and he (should?) know how much value I hold in my possessions. Which is dumb and materialistic and maybe I'm borderline hoarder but whatever. I really value the gifts I've been given because I know they cost money and money requires hard work and I feel blessed that so many people feel that my happiness is worth their hard work. Again, more gay feelings.
So that's this blog post. I'm dirty and grimy and so Renaissance/ Post-apocalyptic, but my significant others like my parents and want to clean my room. God speed, kids.
So anyway. I want to write today about my horrible hygiene and my room being a total mess.
Alright. I don't shower that often. I don't feel comfortable disclosing just how often that is, plus I don't really know. I don't keep track. I shower when I feel dirty, or am visibly dirty. Like if I went playing in the mud, or after larping. I take baths for pleasure and not hygiene. I don't have a bath at home. If I did, I would be what others deem "more clean". It has really never been something that bothers me. I use wet wipes on my nether bits, and I clean my face nearly every night. I should probably wash my feet more, but that's Arti's job. :P
I also don't brush my teeth. Like, ever. Barely monthly. Which I know is awful and IS something I need to fix and I'm working on it. Again, I have no self-motivation. I would very much like rules and stuff from one of my lover boys, but that's just not happening for whatever reason. And I feel like a jerk telling Arti that she needs to clean her teeth, although I haven't made it a rule yet because I feel so hypocritical about it. So. Yeah. If anyone wants to give me rules and inspections, hit me up.
Other than my body issues, I live in clutter. I VERY RARELY have food in my room. And when I do, I take the plates/bowls down immediately, or the morning after if it's a late night snack. I somehow forget about popcorn bags for centuries though, as I feed the kernels to my ratties. So that's about the only thing I have in my room food wise, except for scant amounts of chocolate that I have hidden around the room. That's my main problem- I forget things. I honestly believe I have a memory problem, but I don't know if that's something that can be fixed, so I don't bother talking to doctors about it. Maybe I should... but back on the topic at hand. I pile things. I hoard. I really like pillows. I really like craft supplies. These are the things that take up most of my room. There is literally a one foot wide path to my bed and that's it. I can't even open my door all the way.
And my boyfriend, Oz, isn't really okay with that. Which is totally cool with my parents.
So he's at my place while I work today, cleaning out my stuff. Which really is mostly pillows, clothes, bins of stuff (which I just don't get around to putting in the attic) and bedding. Lots of pillows and bedding. I have a Queen size bed, and I really think I get separation anxiety when I'm away from people, so I bundle up pillow and blankets on the other side of the bed that I cuddle into. Aww. Gay. Whatever. Badass dykes can have feelings too.
So that's what's happening today and tomorrow. Oz is cleaning my room while I'm at work. And Arti might be able to come by tomorrow and Saturday and complete the daunting task. I really am not worried as I trust Oz with my things and he (should?) know how much value I hold in my possessions. Which is dumb and materialistic and maybe I'm borderline hoarder but whatever. I really value the gifts I've been given because I know they cost money and money requires hard work and I feel blessed that so many people feel that my happiness is worth their hard work. Again, more gay feelings.
So that's this blog post. I'm dirty and grimy and so Renaissance/ Post-apocalyptic, but my significant others like my parents and want to clean my room. God speed, kids.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Needles and scalpels and staples... oh my!
Alright, so I got a bit carried away on Amazon after my grandparents and uncle bought me a bunch of gift cards for my birthday and Christmas. And of course, I forgot to private-ize my KINK! wishlist on Amazon before the holiday season. Hopefully no one went hunting on my wishlists...
Obviously, I had a lot of things saved up already that I wanted. My gift cards quickly went to leather care books for Artemis so that she can learn to bootblack (I have so many leather boots), gas masks (another crazy fetish, but also apocalyptic props!)... and vet tools. Yes, needles, scalpels, staples, sutures... all of them are under vet care. Which is great, because I don't need to provide any sort of doctor note or proof or diploma. So I loaded up on those. A 100ct box of needles, three 35ct staplers, and a 10ct box of scalpels. No sutures... yet :3
I've used about a dozen of my needles, on others and on myself. It's weird to me how much I enjoy receiving needles. I never thought I would be into the feeling of getting them, but it's pretty addicting. I have plans for a scene where I get lots of needles stuck in around my joints for bind-free bondage. I like mental fucks like that :3
I've used 2 of my staplers already. I'm addicted to staples. Sadly they're the most expensive of the bunch, but they're well worth it. Especially at the Amazon prices. They're a really great rush with less of the blood (sometimes) and pain of needles, and they look really freaking awesome. I'm in love with stage/sfx makeup, and the staples add this really awesome dimension to my work. But more on that in the next post~
None of the scalpels have been used yet. Mainly because my sexy time sessions involve too much fighting and moving around with the boy and my girl is just too damn delicate <3 We have to work on her veins being punctured. I'm not really sure what it is, but every time she has blood taken for real doctor stuff, her arm goes dead and that makes me sad. So I'm a bit hesitant with cutting her up, which I'm sure she thinks I'm silly for. But once the scalpels are used, I'll be sure to write about it here! I'm really excited for them :D
Maybe I should talk more about why I love this... genre(?) of kink/fetish/bdsm tools.
In a word: blood.
I'm horrifically obsessed with it. I love drawing it, I love it being drawn, I love playing with it, I love looking at it, I love drinking it, I love it being drank, I love my own, I love others' (if they're safe and consenting). I've been fascinated by blood for as long as I can remember. Not necessarily turned on by it until vampires came into my life, but fascinated. I still am fascinated, if it's not a sexy situation. Like just this past Monday I had blood drawn for my 3-month STI screening (Always safe!!), and I watch every time, blood leaping into the tubes... Which is also weird, because I get faint when I see those real life ER shows with surgery and stuff. But I have hardcore sympathy pains, so I think that's the main issue, not the blood. So... yeah. That.
It's a great thrill for me, knowing I'm giving or getting access to someone's life force. I put a lot of commitment and care and terror and importance on blood. If you mess up, there are serious consequences. There is a ridiculous amount of trust involved with drawing and consuming blood. I think it's one of the only things I hold inherently intimate. That's why it's hard to find a partner for blood play, in my opinion. I'm terribly lucky to have found Artemis, who has very similar ideals and fantasies involving blood, mainly vampire roles. She is more than eager to feed me and keep me satiated, but she's just so damn delicate that I enjoy teasing myself with her. Lol self-domination. Oz is a mix of the sensual addict and the crazy killer type when it comes to blood. I'm never entirely sure of him (which is a turn-on and accepted part of our dynamic, nothing non-consensual!), so our blood play has been mainly in the fantasy realm. But he has plans, and I'm a bit terrified in a good way~
Whee! That's a blog post! Tell me what you think, single reader who is my girlfriend and probably knows all of this anyway wow I need to get new readers... gonna go put this on tumblr and twitter and maybe people will be interested...
Obviously, I had a lot of things saved up already that I wanted. My gift cards quickly went to leather care books for Artemis so that she can learn to bootblack (I have so many leather boots), gas masks (another crazy fetish, but also apocalyptic props!)... and vet tools. Yes, needles, scalpels, staples, sutures... all of them are under vet care. Which is great, because I don't need to provide any sort of doctor note or proof or diploma. So I loaded up on those. A 100ct box of needles, three 35ct staplers, and a 10ct box of scalpels. No sutures... yet :3
I've used about a dozen of my needles, on others and on myself. It's weird to me how much I enjoy receiving needles. I never thought I would be into the feeling of getting them, but it's pretty addicting. I have plans for a scene where I get lots of needles stuck in around my joints for bind-free bondage. I like mental fucks like that :3
I've used 2 of my staplers already. I'm addicted to staples. Sadly they're the most expensive of the bunch, but they're well worth it. Especially at the Amazon prices. They're a really great rush with less of the blood (sometimes) and pain of needles, and they look really freaking awesome. I'm in love with stage/sfx makeup, and the staples add this really awesome dimension to my work. But more on that in the next post~
None of the scalpels have been used yet. Mainly because my sexy time sessions involve too much fighting and moving around with the boy and my girl is just too damn delicate <3 We have to work on her veins being punctured. I'm not really sure what it is, but every time she has blood taken for real doctor stuff, her arm goes dead and that makes me sad. So I'm a bit hesitant with cutting her up, which I'm sure she thinks I'm silly for. But once the scalpels are used, I'll be sure to write about it here! I'm really excited for them :D
Maybe I should talk more about why I love this... genre(?) of kink/fetish/bdsm tools.
In a word: blood.
I'm horrifically obsessed with it. I love drawing it, I love it being drawn, I love playing with it, I love looking at it, I love drinking it, I love it being drank, I love my own, I love others' (if they're safe and consenting). I've been fascinated by blood for as long as I can remember. Not necessarily turned on by it until vampires came into my life, but fascinated. I still am fascinated, if it's not a sexy situation. Like just this past Monday I had blood drawn for my 3-month STI screening (Always safe!!), and I watch every time, blood leaping into the tubes... Which is also weird, because I get faint when I see those real life ER shows with surgery and stuff. But I have hardcore sympathy pains, so I think that's the main issue, not the blood. So... yeah. That.
It's a great thrill for me, knowing I'm giving or getting access to someone's life force. I put a lot of commitment and care and terror and importance on blood. If you mess up, there are serious consequences. There is a ridiculous amount of trust involved with drawing and consuming blood. I think it's one of the only things I hold inherently intimate. That's why it's hard to find a partner for blood play, in my opinion. I'm terribly lucky to have found Artemis, who has very similar ideals and fantasies involving blood, mainly vampire roles. She is more than eager to feed me and keep me satiated, but she's just so damn delicate that I enjoy teasing myself with her. Lol self-domination. Oz is a mix of the sensual addict and the crazy killer type when it comes to blood. I'm never entirely sure of him (which is a turn-on and accepted part of our dynamic, nothing non-consensual!), so our blood play has been mainly in the fantasy realm. But he has plans, and I'm a bit terrified in a good way~
Whee! That's a blog post! Tell me what you think, single reader who is my girlfriend and probably knows all of this anyway wow I need to get new readers... gonna go put this on tumblr and twitter and maybe people will be interested...
Friday, January 20, 2012
Myth Nonsense!
Just using this as a note space while I'm at work and don't have anywhere to save naughty things. <3
PETS
-Poser1111-- hugs, greetings, head scritches, and general friendliness
-Devi89?
-Believeitornot-- massage, teh makeouts, exhibitionism, specific tasks, intercourse, spanking/punishment
HANDLERS
-GregCuffs -- Would like a bondage slut pet --Devi89
-Stacey-- Believeitornot
-Me-- Andyslut, Poser111
PETS
-Poser1111-- hugs, greetings, head scritches, and general friendliness
-Devi89?
-Believeitornot-- massage, teh makeouts, exhibitionism, specific tasks, intercourse, spanking/punishment
HANDLERS
-GregCuffs -- Would like a bondage slut pet --Devi89
-Stacey-- Believeitornot
-Me-- Andyslut, Poser111
Smut and a list
So I know I've made rules for Artemis that directly reflect desires that I have. Such as writing our sexual experiences down in her blog, and drawing every day that she isn't swamped with work. I know that I really want to expand my writing and drawing abilities, but I don't have the damn discipline to do it myself. I've been talking to Oz about making some rules for me, but the poor boy is really new at this long term thing. (Yes, a month is long term for him. Oi.) So I've recently connected with my ex-thing again and we're talking about sexy things and blah blah. He and I were really well connected with kink, so I'm thinking I might talk to him about some rules, as long as Arti and Oz are okay with it. I also need to make sure that connecting with an ex-thing is really such a good idea. Dramamamama. Whatever.
So anyway. Oz asked me to write something up, and Arti has been begging me to write, and ex-thing just gave me inspiration for a story... so ya'll are going to get some smut drafts and work-in-progress updates and the final stories on here. Yay! Posts!
Also, post ideas that I should write down for prompts...
Digital Dominance
Costumes
Weird ass kinks
Needles and staples and scalpels... Oh My!
Dystopia Rising, in which I'm a badass.
My toys, and how much I love them.
Reviews of my toys.
Poly-nonsense, and how it works for me.
My gender issues.
My bi-gender silliness, which makes me feel like a jerk.
Switchiness
Rope, and why I hate it... but not as much as I say I do
Leather, in all it's glory.
Public play, and why.
Power dynamics
The written sex, and how I love it.
Orgasm problems, and how I feel broken.
Past relationship problems and how they affect my sex life.
That's a lot to work on... but now that I have prompts written down, I should be around a lot more! Whee!
So anyway. Oz asked me to write something up, and Arti has been begging me to write, and ex-thing just gave me inspiration for a story... so ya'll are going to get some smut drafts and work-in-progress updates and the final stories on here. Yay! Posts!
Also, post ideas that I should write down for prompts...
Digital Dominance
Costumes
Weird ass kinks
Needles and staples and scalpels... Oh My!
Dystopia Rising, in which I'm a badass.
My toys, and how much I love them.
Reviews of my toys.
Poly-nonsense, and how it works for me.
My gender issues.
My bi-gender silliness, which makes me feel like a jerk.
Switchiness
Rope, and why I hate it... but not as much as I say I do
Leather, in all it's glory.
Public play, and why.
Power dynamics
The written sex, and how I love it.
Orgasm problems, and how I feel broken.
Past relationship problems and how they affect my sex life.
That's a lot to work on... but now that I have prompts written down, I should be around a lot more! Whee!
Friday, January 6, 2012
That which I hope starts a trend...
You know, I was so super excited to start sexy blogging, and I thought I would have SO MUCH to blog about, that I made two sexy blogs. One for 'normal', every day sexy things (believe me, not standard normal. My normal. Which is messed up as fuck <3), and one for my special pony play things.
Turns out I suck at blogging. Or, at least, remembering to blog.
It probably doesn't help me that my gurlfrand writes all our sexy encounters, as it is one of her rules to do so, and that I just get so side tracked by how submissive and delicious it all comes out, that I would feel awful doing something like "Then I stuck it in her butt and it was great, lulz." [Which, godamnit, I still haven't done! To-Do list!]
Maybe this new boything I have can give me a similar rule? I don't know. I get really weird about my terrible memory and I don't want to insult anyone by forgetting anything... I'll have to talk to my significant others about it.
It's also a bit silly, because of all the switchtastic nonsense, with me being always dominant of my girlfriend, and being switch-mostly-bottom to the boy. It sort of confuses my writing style. But damnit, it's MY blog! [I'm a brat too, didya notice?]
Also also, the fact that I know that Artemis is the only one reading my blog. SHOW NO FEAR! DON'T BACK DOWN. BE THE TWUEST DOMINATE! ALL THE FEELINGS.
So. I'll work on it. Resolution, I guess. Write about my sex life, and my D/s life, and my poly life, and it will all work out.
Needs more cupcakes.
Turns out I suck at blogging. Or, at least, remembering to blog.
It probably doesn't help me that my gurlfrand writes all our sexy encounters, as it is one of her rules to do so, and that I just get so side tracked by how submissive and delicious it all comes out, that I would feel awful doing something like "Then I stuck it in her butt and it was great, lulz." [Which, godamnit, I still haven't done! To-Do list!]
Maybe this new boything I have can give me a similar rule? I don't know. I get really weird about my terrible memory and I don't want to insult anyone by forgetting anything... I'll have to talk to my significant others about it.
It's also a bit silly, because of all the switchtastic nonsense, with me being always dominant of my girlfriend, and being switch-mostly-bottom to the boy. It sort of confuses my writing style. But damnit, it's MY blog! [I'm a brat too, didya notice?]
Also also, the fact that I know that Artemis is the only one reading my blog. SHOW NO FEAR! DON'T BACK DOWN. BE THE TWUEST DOMINATE! ALL THE FEELINGS.
So. I'll work on it. Resolution, I guess. Write about my sex life, and my D/s life, and my poly life, and it will all work out.
Needs more cupcakes.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Un birthday!
Friends, family, lovers, brothers, unicorns and ne'er do wells!
My 22nd birthday is the 21st of this month. Because of the actual day being a Wednesday, and the two weekends surrounding being all full of holiday nonsense, I will be holding off until June to have an UnBirthday party!
So, no need to scramble for time or gifts. Birthday wishes are of course still welcome, and if you have already bought gifts then I will, obviously, receive them graciously. I hope to see you all at some point this holiday season, and I wish you all cheer, harmony, and good will <3
Please keep June 22nd-24th open for me! Greater plans are to come!!
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